The Brighton Food Chain

If you look around the streets of Brighton- day time, night time, up-all-hours time, you are bound to see two things…hobos and naughty seagull. But who’s higher in the food chain?

Let’s look at the evidence- before we start, don’t assume this is going to be seagull biased reveiw (because after all, Naughty Seagull is the hero behind these blogs).

Cleanliness
Being a ‘Naughty Hobo’ has it’s down side- you don’t have a home, so keeping up appearances can be somewhat difficult…washing, cleaning teeth, shaving, etc…


Or is it?


Maybe said hobos should be taking a few tips from Naughty Seagull's beauty regime. Have you ever been to the fountain on the green next to St James Street [lack of research means lack of knowledge of the actual name of this fountain]? Well if you have, you will be fully aware that this is the common bathing ground of Naughty Seagull and its seagull friends. This is the place to get a good wash, relax, prune, you know, all the things a Naughty Seagull needs to do in order to look in tip top shape, maintain a glossy coat and generally look its best for the Brighton’s tourists to observe.


Diet
OK, so this is not coming from someone that stalks the homeless rafter than someone that stalks Naughty Seagull. From experience, there is little that could be said about how hobos feed themselves, begging, routing through bins or just taking smack so the urge to eat just goes away. But I ask; who in this day and age has seen a healthy looking, plump or well fed hobo?  That's the point right- to be shabby, down and out, hungry...[apologies for anyone this offends].

So back to our Naughty Seagull friend- is it possible to find a seagull under weight on the streets of Brighton, scraggy feathers, boney [well you get the picture]…NO?  Well that's beacuse such a thing does not exist.  Seagulls inherit some serious survival skills to  prevent such a thing from happening...photo graphic evidence below of the 'Bin Bag Technique':

Drugs

Crack, ket, smack….you name it, the Naughty Hobo has got it, but that's not Naught Seagull's bag.  Naughty Seagull doesn’t need a hit to get high...Naughty Seagull's got wings!

This is just part of the evidence which clearly shows that Naughty Seagull is ruling the streets of Brighton…comments, additions to the debate are much appreciated!

Spotted: Google Street View

Naughty Seagull caused a stir in the national press this year after making a special guest appearance on Google Street View. The bizarre sighting depicts our anti-hero fleeing from the scene. Naughty Seagull was well n truly caught in the act; but not by Brighton’s Bobbies on the beat (based on John Street)- Big Brother is watching you!


The image really captures the essence of Brighton- synonymous to a day in the life of Naughty Seagull and one which is already reaching iconic status.

In their statement to The Telegraph on 19th March 2010, Google stated:


"The cameras that we use on top of the cars take a series of pictures as they move along. Afterwards we stitch those pictures together. What sometimes happens is that a little bit is missing, especially if something moves. When an object moves very fast, like a bird on the run with its food, there might be an anomaly with the picture."


Unfortunately, Google have now removed the images from John Street street view, so it can no longer be viewed. Needless to say they were all over it, like a seagull on a hot chip.